Young Americans are unfriending their parents. A recent survey found that “38% of U.S. adults are estranged from at least one family member.” It’s due to something called “value dissimilarity.” In layman’s terms ― your mom finds your gender ideology perplexing, and your dad shows no enthusiasm for the rise of communism in the country.

Dating has also changed a lot in the past decade. And it’s not all due to technology. Before 2016, people asked, “Do you want children?” Now, most millennial big-city dwellers start with the same seriousness: “So… who did you vote for?” We didn’t just make politics paramount. We turned it into astrology for college-educated people.

Today’s progressives have turned into the stereotype their hippie parents used to make fun of. Remember when liberals mocked the church lady who thought every aspect of life was a moral test? Now half the country acts like buying the wrong coffee brand, laughing at the wrong comedian or dating someone who voted for President Donald Trump is a violation of the Geneva Convention.

Apparently, America’s worst problem isn’t inflation, debt, crime, expensive healthcare, failing government schools, drug addiction, housing affordability, foreign adversaries, a Department of Defense that has never passed a financial audit, or a Congress that hasn’t accepted a budget since 1997. No, it’s cousin Vinny posting something silly on Instagram.

How did we end up in a place where adults proudly announce they’re cutting off their parents because mom watches Fox News and dad likes Ben Shapiro? The people who raised you, drove you to soccer practice, stayed up all night when you had the flu, and paid your college tuition are disposable because they checked the wrong box in November 2024?

Politics has become a luxury identity. We live in the richest society in human history. Apparently, that has given some people enough free time to curate their social circle like a Spotify playlist. Young Americans are pruning all “toxic” branches of their family trees with no mercy.

“My husband is kind, faithful, hardworking, volunteers every weekend, and is an incredible father.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Last night I caught him listening to Ted Cruz ― and nodding in agreement.”

“OMG. Get a lawyer.”

C’mon man! Don’t you know millions of couples throughout history lived happily despite disagreements over religion, money, where to live, how to raise children and whether Elvis was overrated? But our millennials have concluded that policy preferences are the one irreconcilable difference. Really? The capital gains tax is your soulmate filter?

People who constantly talk about diversity seem incredibly narrow-minded lately. Different skin colors? Wonderful. Different cuisines? Fantastic. Different voting habits? Absolutely unacceptable.

And it’s not just one side that thinks they’re uniquely virtuous. Conservatives complain that the Left is intolerant while ruthlessly attacking each other in the latest sectarian conflict over Ukraine, Iran or tariffs. Progressives believe that their brand of intolerance is justified because, after all, they’re intolerant of your intolerance. It’s like a philosophical Möbius strip that somehow always ends with unfriending somebody.

These days, every election is presented as the last election. Every Supreme Court case is civilization’s final exam. Every executive order is either democracy’s salvation or the second coming of Hitler. Politics has become entertainment for voters. Every day is another season finale:

“This changes everything!”

No, it doesn’t.

The internet and real life are different. One promotes fake outrage and moral grandstanding. The other rewards getting along with people who occasionally drive you crazy. That’s what makes peace possible. A healthy society doesn’t require everyone to agree. Normal people don’t freak out and demand exile when they hear a counterargument.

If your political philosophy demands that you eliminate half the country from your dating pool, your holiday table, your friendships and your neighborhood barbecue, maybe your ideology isn’t making you a better person. Maybe it’s just making you miserable and lonely. Maybe it’s worth talking to your grandparents to see how they coped with disagreements.

Politics does matter. Taxes and spending matter. Wars and crime matter. Free speech and affordability matter. But politics should occupy an appropriate place in your life. It would be rather sad if your entire personality could be summarized by your yard signs and bumper stickers.

Washington thrives on dividing us. Our politicians know that a citizen obsessed with every outrage is easier to manipulate than one busy starting a business, raising kids, coaching Little League, volunteering at church or having dinner with people who occasionally hold opposite views.

Enough with the auditioning for the role of the Most Sanctimonious Person. Happiness cannot be built on unanimous opinions. It’s only possible if you are mature enough to say, “I think you’re wrong. Pass the mashed potatoes.” And if the answer is, “Maybe I am. Here you are. Would you like to try my green bean casserole?,” that’s a community where you can enjoy life.

Dr. Alex Tokarev is an economics professor at Northwood University.

This article originally appeared on The Detroit News: Don’t let politics destroy your personal life | Opinion

Reporting by Alex Tokarev / The Detroit News

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